


How It Seems

by Maybeanotherplace



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Cuties, Fluff, Human AU, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Modern Day, Pen Pals, writer!crowley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-01-23 03:27:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21313417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maybeanotherplace/pseuds/Maybeanotherplace
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale met as teenagers while doing a class project. Though they resided countries apart, they began to feel a particular fondness for one another. Almost 30 years later, they meet and it doesn't go as planned.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Crowley seemed to be a simple man. He sat at his computer all day, ticking away story after story. At night, he met with his friends, publishers, editors, and the like. He traveled often, he slept and then woke up to do it all again. He had one small thing that he kept very secret though. A pen-pal, miles and miles away. Though Crowley's address changed and changed through the years, A’s never changed, belonging to a small bookshop in Soho. A.Z. Fell and Co. They had made a rule to not ask to meet, and to just let it happen naturally. The invention of Google made it too easy for A to find out minimum. Though, when Crowley’s profession had gained a bit of traction, he received a letter asking why on Earth his book had been published under the God awful name of Antony.  
The two had met through a trite high school assignment where you had to pick a pen pal based only on their self listed qualities. Crowley had forgotten to choose, so he was assigned the only one left. He wrote a very careless letter, to some dope in London he hadn’t really cared about. The response from said dope was insanely gorgeous. He had used his own personal stationary, which he bragged about, and his own handmade parchment. A expressed his love for books, and how his adopted family stayed in the upstairs apartment of a bookstore. He confessed that he dreamed of being a writer, but he wasn’t very good at story-building, or anything one needed to write a good book. Crowley was astounded that his dry and boring letter had initiated such a response from the boy. A had included a photo of himself holding an open book to his chest and smiling. On the back, he had written the words “A very unflattering photo of myself! Just dreadfully plump, wouldn’t you agree? Mother insisted I include it.” In his response, Crowley drew this photo on the corner of the paper and teased him with the caption “a dreadfully plump boy”.  
Somewhere along the months it took to graduate, he became a writer. A always received the very first editions of his novels and short stories. His most renowned being the fantasy novel he never intended to publish. It was the shame of his career. There were always things that, as a writer, one never shared with the public. Although with A, how could he refuse? He’d sent the strange concept as a P.S. in his letter and A loved it to pieces. He begged Crowley to write it, and once it was written, he also begged him to send it into the open.  
Published May 31st, 2019, the novel “Heaven, Hell, and the In-between” had taken Europe by storm. It sold 7,142 copies in the week, which was thousands more than he had hoped to sell. The novel had been on shelves for nearly 8 months now and the book was still flying off the shelves. He had done book tour after book tour, and was sick of it. He had one final place to visit before he was finished, and he couldn’t bare to think of it. Soho. Inside of A.Z. Fell and Co. would be Crowley. He would actually see it from inside after all these years. He’d only had a two weeks warning beforehand, so he had no time to explain all of it to A. He reckoned he’d just fake out last minute. Crowley begged his manager, to change its location to any other place in Soho, but was vehemently denied. And alas, here he was, stood outside the bookshop.  
His heart beat through his chest. That morning, he spent hours debating what to wear. Crowley decided on his black suit, red scarf, and sunglasses. On the steps he debated whether or not it made him look like a sad old man. Not wanting to meet him in a crowd of strangers, Crowley took a flight a day before the hubbub began. Had A any clue of what he looked like now? Certainly his face must have shown up somewhere or another. As he entered the shop, he wondered if A looked as beautiful as the first and only photo he’d ever seen of the man. It sat, burning a hole in his wallet. His eyes took it all in, recounting every tale of an angry customer, lost child, and late night teen shenanigans that he’d been told about. It had all happened here. A’s childhood years were spent just a floor above. A wrote nearly all of his letters to Crowley sitting at the desk in the nook, at the front counter of the store, or on the front steps late at night while trying to catch a breath of fresh air. Before his heart could catch up to his thoughts, A’s voice rang out from the back. “I’ll be out in just a moment! You’ve caught me in the middle of writing.”  
Crowley’s heart melted then and there. His voice was just as warm and gorgeous as he dreamed, and he imagined for a moment, that voice calling his name so lovingly and heartfelt.” Sorry for the inconvenience, how may I help you tod-”  
A stopped dead in his tracks. He dropped the books he’d been holding and sat with his mouth wide open.  
Crowley couldn’t think of what to say to him, so many years of not knowing how he’d changed in appearance, or how he even sounded. He could barely speak. His voice came out in a near whisper.” I took a plane. Figured that I would see you alone before the book signing.” His sunglasses slipped down his nose a bit as he looked down to meet A’s gaze.” Um, its ah… By the way, it’s Crowley. Not Antony. Just in case you were wondering.” Through another frightfully long bit of silence, Crowley had yet to even take in the full view of A. His hair was just as snow white as the photo, though a bit thinner. His face was riddled with little tiny soft wrinkles and his eyes were the same beautiful blue he had remembered. Though the smile was different. In this moment, it was non-existent.  
“How dare you! I’m not even dressed appropriately to meet you! Here you are in a cute little suit and I’m in my near night clothes! I had this whole ensemble planned to match my eyes, and your hair! What happened to your long hair! Oh goodness no, this isn’t how any of this was supposed to go! Wait, close your eyes, stay here, don’t even BREATHE!” Before he could stop A, he rushed behind the curtain to change. It all happened in such a whirlwind that he barely had any time to detest. So Crowley closed his eyes, stayed there, and didn’t even breathe. His mind raced. A knew he was coming to the bookshop, and had planned to look cute and dress up for him. He still thought Crowley had his long hair from the 90’s. Where had he even seen Crowley with long hair? Before he could ponder the issue any longer, the curtain flew open once again. The sound of shoes against old wood flooring padded closer to him. He felt gentle hands cup his jaw. One moved to remove Crowley’s sunglasses, the other still caressing his face.” You can open now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited that anyone has seen this story! I haven't written fan-fiction in a long long time, let alone publish it. I'm not sure where exactly this story is heading, but I really hope you'll stick around to see what comes next!!! This chapter is just a bit longer than the last. Actually, it's quite a bit longer than the last. But lots happens in this chapter! Enjoy!

His eyes opened to see A looking so tenderly at him, that he could have died in that moment and gone to heaven. He barely noticed the outfit he had managed to change into. The smile on both of their faces had spread ear to ear within mere seconds.  
“Nice to meet you, Crowley. My name’s Aziraphale. It’s such a pleasure to meet you after all this time.” Their faces inched closer together as they spoke to each other.  
“Aziraphale. Such a beautiful name. Certainly not as beautiful as Antony, but we weren’t all born with such pleasures.” They laughed in unison, and Crowley nearly died on the spot from admiration. It wasn’t until that moment he realized the position they were in. Aziraphale had pressed himself into Crowley’s body, one arm slung over his shoulder, with the other still holding his hand on Crowley’s face. Though, he was in no better position. In the frazzle of seeing his near lifelong friend for the first time, his hands had wrapped around Aziraphale’s waist. Though, quite frankly, neither seemed to really mind it. They stood like that for some time, admiring the first up close glance of the other. It was so peaceful and tranquil. Right up until the door of the store opened up with a chime and Aziraphale had to run to the front desk.  
Crowley was left standing, his arms still out, now devoid of a heat he wasn’t aware was building. His whole face turned red and he began to pretend to look at the shelves. He created a peep hole between Emily Dickinson and Sappho, and watched him hard at work. The patron was a tall man in a grey trench coat and scarf, with clean cut brown hair. He seemed like a business type, and he haphazardly threw his briefcase onto the counter. Aziraphale hurriedly passed him an envelope, and whispered to him. Crowley grew curious and tried to part the books a bit more, accidentally knocking down Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou in the process. The tall man’s attention snapped in his direction, and Crowley ducked his head down to avoid being caught. Aziraphale caught the man's gaze again. He grabbed his briefcase and headed out, with a stern look on his face. Crowley hurriedly went to put the books back on the shelf when Aziraphale rushed back to him. He knelt down beside him, to pick up the second book. They stood up together, and only then did he realize their height difference. He looked down and they locked eyes again.  
“That was Gabriel.” Aziraphale quickly blurted this out as he placed the books in their rightful shelf space.  
Crowley guffawed, suddenly remembering all the stories about him.” Gabriel as in ‘man who tried to have you evicted from the bookshop’ Gabriel?” His eyebrow quirked.” He’s quite different than I pictured. I imagined him the ‘holier than thou’ type. But he just seems-”  
“Holy?” Aziraphale interrupted.” He’s gone from just Gabriel to Father Gabriel. He recently took up a position with a Catholic church round the corner. They collect money very frequently, and he knows my conscience won’t let me say no. The whole eviction thing is in the past, dearest.” He realized too late he’d said it out loud for Crowley to hear. They both turned red as can be.  
“Should we go out to eat? It is late after all. My treat.” He turned his face down to the ground to avoid showing just how bad his blush had become.” I happened to make a reservation for two at that restaurant you raved about for 6 sodding years.” Becoming aware of the tension that had built, he took a step backward.” We could also stay here and just...talk?”  
Aziraphale looked up at him with a smile.” I’d quite like that.”   
He closed the shop for the night, noticing that the sun was starting to set. They made the climb up the stairs to Aziraphale’s apartment. Many things come across completely different when written down, so much detail goes down the drain. But standing in this apartment above the shop, Crowley found himself scanning through the contents of the letters in his head and spotting every small detail. The 3 bookshelves lining the front wall, the red chaise with the mysterious white stain, the small breakfast nook that he had placed his desk in, and… the urns on the mantle. Aziraphale wrote of those when his parents both passed in a car crash when he was 24. He got stuck with the family shop and the apartment. That had been the second longest time he’d ever gone without receiving a letter. For 3 months he wondered if Aziraphale had forgotten his address, or didn’t want to talk anymore, or any horrid situation that could come to mind. When the letter finally arrived it was covered in tear stains, and the ink was smudged. It was the closest he had come to go see him. He’d booked the flights and planned to go the next weekend. Aziraphale refused. He said it wasn’t any good because if Crowley came, he wouldn’t be able to handle his leaving. So they made a pact to wait until circumstances allowed them to be in the same place.   
Now, here they were, stood together.  
“Is it like how you pictured? I couldn’t begin to think of what vision you must have built over these past 30 some odd years. Probably some homely little den and a futon.” He chuckled a bit, before beginning to tidy up a bit.” Sorry that it isn’t clean right now, I wasn’t expecting you tonight. Frankly, I didn’t expect you at all. I assumed you’d do the same thing like last time and cancel. Ha! Sorry, that sounded a bit mean. Tea?”  
“ For your information, I never cancelled! You told me to stay home. And yes, tea would be lovely.”  
“ Well for your information as well, I never said to stay home! I said, if you came now you weren’t going to leave. That wasn’t me telling you anything but the facts. You seemed so, well, in love with me that I feared you’d never go home to the family you had. Earl grey or chamomile? Oh who am I kidding, I’ll pull out the jasmine for you. You’ve always loved jasmine tea.”  
Aziraphale had said it so bluntly and matter of factly that Crowley barely had time to process it. All while putting on the kettle.” You’re right, on the whole tea thing, but I’m not in love with you! You’re in love with me! I mean that you weren’t in love with you! No I mean to say that-”   
“It’s alright to say it out loud dear.” He didn’t hesitate to call Crowley this in the moment.” I never said I minded. Just stating the facts. Kettles on dear, the kitchen tends to get awfully hot when I use the stove. My face is all red and my palms are all sweaty from it.” Aziraphale wiped his hands on the front of his apron, barely catching Crowley stand and walk over toward him. He sighed before continuing on.” You led such an exciting life then. Girls abound, parties every night, your first big book deal. Why would you have given all that up for a boring little flat in Soho? I hardly blamed you for staying home.” Tears formed in the corner of his eyes as he spoke, but quickly wiped them away.” Oh but it’s all in the past. You’re here! And I’m happy for it.” When his head turned to the oddly quiet living room, he was met with Crowley’s chest in his face.  
“Would you have been happy if I’d come then? To stay here in this little flat in Soho. With you.” His eyes glowed a bright amber brown, full of longing and love.  
Aziraphale placed a hand on the man's chest and huffed.” I can’t say that now, it’s been nearly 20 years.”  
He grew insistent.” Would you have been happy? With me, with that young evolving writer here in your house, reading to you, and holding you at night? Did you want me to come?”  
There grew a long pause as he grasped for an answer.  
“It would have made me the happiest man in the world to read your manuscript as you tacked away at a typewriter. To bring you a cup of coffee in the morning, to see you idly sweep the bookshop, to just see you and feel your presence. I would have been glad if you had even just refused me a bit and come to visit. But you did what I asked and I had no right to get mad over it. I have no right to be upset in this moment, because you’re here to visit and I’m being just awful!” He buried his face into Crowley’s shirt as the tears came rushing down his little pink cheeks.” I do hope you haven’t thought that I never wanted you here all these years. That was all that I wanted to happen, but you told me we’d wait for the stars to align for our meeting. You have no clue how many times I dreamed or hoped you’d walk through the door of my shop with your luggage in tow.”  
A gentle hand came up to stroke the soft blonde tufts upon his head.” Why didn’t you just tell me so?”  
Small sobs choked out from the back of Aziraphale’s throat.” Because you always went on and on about how you’d become this big hotshot writer and travel the world. You’ve always needed so much more than I could give you, or could even try to give you. Then you wrote this lovely letter about how you’d gone to Borneo and seen all these wonderful things, and how it changed you! I’m not a Borneo man. I’m barely an Englishman. You wished this big and lavish life for yourself and I never fit into that equation. Why would you spend your time with some dumpy little house husband when there’s a whole world left to explore? I would never have been enough.” His crying had calmed down, but his voice was still broken.  
Crowley had lost his ability to breathe. Was his heart even beating? He contemplated all the information that had just been thrown at him. He took another moment before speaking.”You know, I invited you everywhere I travelled. I always sent you a ticket, and always you said no and sent it back to me. I wasn’t looking to search the world. Never have, it’s a dreadful place filled with fat tourists looking for a bit of ‘excitement’. I was looking for excuses to meet you. I never did enjoy those places. You consistently asked me to send you details of my travels and you would get cross when I didn’t describe it the way you anticipated. It seemed to me that you had sent me as your travel scout to scope them out. I stopped travelling when I thought you were tired of me trying to see you. I just wish that you had said all of that earlier. I would have loved a life here. All I wanted, or rather still want, was a small cottage in some country town with a quiet life. We would have been so happy if we had both been more clear on where we stood. To be frank with you, I would have moved here by the 4th letter.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the furiously wrinkled picture, warm from his body heat.” Rather, I would have married you then and there had I known all of this.”  
Aziraphale snatched it up, and inspected it. After reading the caption on the back, he began to laugh. Tears still rolling, he pointed at it.” She insisted you should have come to Thanksgiving that year. I think she was more in love with you than I was. Especially after you sent such a charming little photo.” He moved to the desk and looked in the drawer. He fished around for a bit and found the small frame he had bought for the old picture. It was a picture Crowley had sent after much pestering on Aziraphale’s end. His hair was about shoulder length at the time, and blazing red. He donned his old rock band’s shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. He was sitting down, leaning his head back against the wall and looking frightfully handsome.”You know, I always told you the random kiss marks on my letters were when my mother would see me writing to you and would insist that you knew it was from her. Well, she only ever did that once, the rest were all mine. I’d borrow my mother's lipstick and smooch the paper. It all seems silly now, but back then it was my little secret from you! You knew everything but the fact that I sent you kisses via the mailman.”  
The two sat for a moment, holding the photos of each other from years ago. They were so different now. Back then they were just sweet little high school boys in love, and here they were 30 years later still pining.


	3. Chapter 3

Crowley cleared his throat as he pondered what to say next.” I can’t believe you kept that dingy old thing.” He took the photo of himself from Aziraphale and gently rubbed the frame.” I’m sorry that we wasted all this time.”  
The whistle blew on the kettle.  
\---  
After they ate dinner and discussed what they’d missed in the letters, Crowley gathered up his things. Aziraphale had dodged the question all night and there was no more avoiding it as he began to walk out the door. He raised his hand to wave him off but found he couldn’t do it until he had asked. As Crowley took his first step onto the pavement Aziraphale finally blurted out what had been on his mind.” Wouldn’t it be easier to stay the night here? I mean, you would be able to wake up later and not worry about traffic on the way back to the signing tomorrow. Traffic at lunchtime is dreadful. That is, only if you want to! You don’t have to. Oh goodness I’m rambling aren’t I? I’ll just-” A gentle hand on the top of his head finally made him stop talking long enough to listen.  
“I’ll be back with my bags.”  
He sauntered off to his car and left without another word, leaving Aziraphale a bumbling mess. He trotted back upstairs to fix his hair and brush his teeth, and as he dug through his drawers, he realized he didn’t have any pajamas fit for Crowley to see. Usually he wore some ragged t-shirt and his boxers, but that wasn’t a becoming look for their first night together. Their first night together. Goodness, that made it sound like they were married and this was their wedding night. Then, he remembered what Crowley had said about marrying him. Suddenly, he grew a whole lot more nervous. Would he want to share a bed or take the bed and put Aziraphale on the couch? It was the 10 minute absence that made his mind run wild with obscene thoughts. If they shared a bed would anything happen? Would they sleep? Would they do… other things?  
He gave himself no more time to imagine it and slipped on the least disgusting shirt he could find, and some sweatpants. He knew he’d be way too hot in them, but it was the least he could do for his company. He pulled down the sheets and fluffed the pillows extra neatly, as he always did. But it was different this time. This time he felt like a little husband, getting the house ready for a tired man who would want only to sleep and cuddle him through the night. He then had a sudden thought. Was Crowley a big spoon or little spoon? Not that it mattered since he shouldn’t be thinking those things about a lifelong friend, but did he like to be held? A knock on the door roused him from his thoughts. He went downstairs and unlocked the door, excitedly greeting who was there.” Welcome back deary! Will you be showering tonight or-”  
“Aziraphale. Who else are you expecting at this hour?”  
The voice made a chill run up his back. He had been so blinded by excitement he hadn’t noticed who had really been at the door. Gabriel's cold calculating eyes scanned Aziraphale’s outfit. He closed the door off a bit and shrunk back.” Hello Gabriel. I’ve already given my donation for the month, today in fact, so I must ask why you’re here.” His voice was stiff. They weren’t friends, or anything. Gabriel wasn’t a buddy to grab a beer with, he was a man with a bad track record in Aziraphales book.” It’s also quite late for you to be traipsing around.”  
“So cold! Just paying a visit to my favorite bookshop owner this side of town. Is it so wrong to say hello every now and then?” Gabriel grinned, and dug his hand into his coat pocket. He pulled the envelope out that Aziraphale had given him that morning.” I just want to discuss your payment this month. Now normally, your check is a much higher amount. It seems this month that you haven’t met the minimum ‘donation’, and you know how much I hate to threaten you.” His face contorted into a menacing frown.” Give me the money now, or I bring the ladies here to take it back. We wouldn’t want a fight now, would we angel?”  
Aziraphale felt his skin itch.” I’m sorry, I don’t have the money. People don’t buy secondhand books the way they used to and I’m sure that my debt is so small that missing a small amount can’t be of much consequence to you.” His voice shook as he spoke, fearing what or who would be lurking around the corner, waiting for nothing but Gabriels command.   
He walked closer to Aziraphale and pushed him inside the door. He fell to the floor and pulled his limbs toward his body.” You know just what to say to piss me off, don’t you?” He spat on the floor.” Bullshit, you don’t have the money? I don’t have the goddamn patience for this. You think you’re the only pathetic piece of shit I have to harass for their payment tonight? I have 5 more stops on this block alone. Give me my money, and I’ll leave. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” A few figures stepped into the doorframe, holding what seemed to be bats and sledgehammers. Aziraphale hobbled to his feet and moved toward his safe in the back, slowly. Gabriel followed him and as he went to open the safe, he felt a cold bit of steel press into his back.” Faster.” Gabriel demanded. He heard the cocking of a gun. His mind raced as he entered the code with shaky fingers. The safe failed to open, and Gabriel jabbed him with the tip of the gun.” I said, FASTER.”  
Tears welled in his eyes, as he attempted it again with even shakier hands.  
WRONG PASSWORD.  
He heard a scoff before a hand reached around to the front of him and grabbed his face, covering his mouth and nose. He attempted to scream before being interrupted.” Look, we’ve been nice. Accommodating even. With that said, you have ten seconds to give me the money in cash before I shoot you and take it myself. Got it?” He nodded and raced to open it again. He punched the number in as fast as he could.  
0417197-  
“Aw, it’s sweet you left the door open for me, but it’s terribly unsafe. Wait who the hell are you?”  
He reached his finger to press the last number, when he heard the clattering in the shop. Gabriel turned around and headed out to see what in the world was happening, only to find Crowley in a headlock. The ladies had grabbed him the moment he walked in the door.” Oh, alright, this is not the way we greet people. Especially when you’re the ones not welcome. Speaking of, just who the HELL are you? Where’s Aziraphale?” Said man rushed out of the back to help Crowley to his feet, but was stopped by Gabriel.  
“You’ve walked into a sticky situation my friend. Ladies, release him.” They promptly dropped him to the floor.” Now walk out the way you came, we wouldn’t want trouble.”  
“ Wait wait wait, Father Gabriel? Weren’t you here this morning? What’s all this about? And where in the absolute fuck did you get a gun? Why the absolute fuck do you have it in the bookshop?” Gabriel snapped his fingers and the ladies helped him stand.  
Gabriel looked at Aziraphale, and squinted his eyes in anger.” Tell him why we’re here, old pal.”  
Aziraphale knew he couldn’t say what they were really here for without Crowley wanting to murder Gabriel over it.” Well dear, Father here wanted to confirm the amount of my donation to the church this month. I must’ve filled the check out wrong by mistake so instead of ringing the phone he came over personally to see it fixed.” Sweat formed on his brow, he was a horrible liar.  
“Well that explains the mafia-esque goons he’s brought along right? I’m not dumb, how much to make this problem go away forever, Father?” Crowley dug out his checkbook from his pocket.  
“A man after my own heart. Well, with the debt his parents accrued over the years, added to the money Aziraphale owes us for rent, along with what all else is owed on the mortgage for the building, comes to a total of…” Gabriel pauses a moment to think.” Oh, yeah, £153082. Of course, any amount would be enough to make us leave, for now.”  
“No, no, I’ll pay you the full amount now. Who should I make this out to?” The nonchalance that Crowley said this with shocked Gabriel. He forgot his words for a moment. His jaw hung open slightly.  
“Oh, uhm, Gabriel Carciente and Affiliates.” He stepped away from Aziraphale.  
“Got it.” He signed the check, and handed it off.” If I see you back here, even to purchase a book, I’ll buy your entire church with a healthy donation, Father. And I’ll see to it that ‘God’s graces’ put you onto the street and into debt.” Crowley hissed the words out as the women began to file out the door.” Wish I could say this was lovely, but frankly I’m just a bit inconvenienced by this whole ordeal.”   
“Well Mr.-” He glanced down at the check.” Aleister. Pleasure doing business with you. You won’t be seeing us around here anymore. The deed will arrive shortly in the mail with your name attached.” He began to pocket the check and walk out of the front door before Crowley stopped him.  
“You’ll see to it that the deed is made out to a Mr. Aziraphale, uhm, what is your last name? I’m afraid you’ve never told me.” He turned to Aziraphale, who at that point was completely white with shock. His mouth dropped open and he couldn’t believe what he had seen. He couldn’t let Crowley just pay his debts off, he could never forgive himself.  
“Well, I-I don’t uhm, oh dear-”  
Crowley became frustrated.”Today angel, the man hasn’t got all night, I’m sure he must be off to harass some other poor souls.” With a swift motion, he began to push Gabriel out of the door.  
“Y-you may put the shop in Crowley's ownership, now be off to, uhm, get your other money tonight! Farewell Father, ha ha!”   
“Wait, who owns it now?” He barely had time to finish before being shoved out, and having the door slammed in his face.


End file.
